I have been acquainted with pain for a long time. I never imagined it would be my life’s work, and I would not have it any other way. I have several experiences to share with you — from my personal logs and also the anecdotes from many clients over the years. You will see there are thematic threads that bind these stories, and at the same time they are so individual and personal.
Pain permeates our lives. We hear about it all the time. From the daily complaints of coworkers and family to commercials and ads claiming solutions to the excruciating pains of life. There’s more work to do. Let’s unpack all these messages and dig into this overwhelming pile of…information (hard wink).
I want to talk about everything pain. Everything. I want to have dialogs and explore all things pain. This is The Pain Playbook and I invite you to explore and converse with me. Welcome in.
“When we know why we do what we do, everything falls into place.” (Simon Sinek)
Pain is he first question I ask, and most days I don’t even have to ask to get people’s pain stories. I help as I can – the reward of people feeling relief is like no other. I have more people to help. And so was born this idea of creating a space to talk pain. Help more people. Share stories. Find solutions. Experience relief.
Back in the early 2000s, when I used to work in the world of HIV/AIDS, we would talk to clients about alternative therapies. We had an Addictions Specialist on staff who got trained to do ear acupuncture. (I had not yet entered the world of massage myself, though we did refer out for massage as well.) Our acupuncture guy mainly treated addiction but began to expand into pain management. I introduce you to him because I have always been one to work my resources. And my friends. He helped my help my mom.
When my mom was going through chemo we didn’t know how to help with the pain and side effects she was experiencing. She, a nurse, was also at a loss and was basically suffering in an eerie silence. Always one to think outside the box, I asked her if she’d be willing to get some acupuncture (it’s only in the ear, mom). She agreed and I my friend form work to come over. He put acupuncture studs in her ears. And my mom relaxed. You could see that her face relaxed and she fell asleep. He was able to get 2 sessions in before her condition worsened.
My mom passed in 2007 from cancer. And I remember so many of the moments in her battle. As I tell you this moment, I am soothed. Even all these years later it’s difficult to travel back and remember. But there is purpose in remembering. And in that memory is the nugget that reminds me it is no small matter to help people find relief, to keep people moving in their space. For however long it is.
It’s a strong Why for me. Allow me to share another Why story with you.
Why Does It Have to Hurt So Much to Die?
My own attention towards pain began with a 90-year-old client I had about 8 years ago. When we met, I trained her at the gym for 30 minutes, 1 to 2 times each week. She was a feisty little French lady and we hit it off immediately. Through the years, she had a couple of falls which significantly affected her mobility and increased some pain issues. Our 30-minute sessions turned into massage treatments and a little bit of very light mobility exercises.
One day she was lying on the table and looking at me as I was working. (Yes, it’s always a little weird when your client watches you work, but you get used to it and also try to avoid direct eye contact.) I happened to look down at her (there’s the eye contact), and she was looking at me thoughtfully. In her little voice, French accent and all, she asked, “Why does is have to hurt so much to die?”
It was so innocent. So heartfelt. And so uncomplicatedly sad. I was caught totally off guard. I like to think I have a quick wit and am very response-ready, but there she got me. Of course, she wasn’t really looking for an answer. Just an ear to listen – and some eye contact.
There is no answer. We do what we can with the tools we have. Let’s build the toolbox.
I think of her a lot. I think of this moment just as often. This moment’s thread stitched itself to my mother’s memory to spark my mind’s wandering into the realm of pain. Most of my massage career has been spent with clients asking me, “How do you always find the pain?” (They not so secretly think I like inflicting pain…I mean, I have to find it to fix it, right?) I definitely connect to the pain areas. We call out to each other.
When I started my practice, I knew I would specialize in sports and medical massage. At the time, I had no idea how passionate I would become about pain management and treatment. My clients mostly consist of active individuals – from fitness enthusiasts to professional athletes, and young to senior populations. I treat people who are experiencing pain (from a variety of causes) and who want to remain active. I keep people actively recovering, moving, and performing.
In The Pain Playbook, I hope to provide a place where we can talk openly and personally about pain and how we deal with it. As we begin to explore pain together, we will build this playbook. It can be a place to find like-mindedness, to find challenge, to find possible solutions, and to build a community.
Welcome to The Pain Playbook. I look forward to our conversations.
