That’s the thing about pain. It is a tie that binds.
We have all made its acquaintance at some point in our lives. Pain is often like that annoying (and sometimes backstabbing) friend with a questionable sense of humor whom we spend years putting up with for reasons that often escape even us.
Let’s think about the fickle friend role pain can occupy for a moment. It’s really not so farfetched. After all, pain is in fact a warning signal – pain alerts the body to the presence of a threat. Like any friend, pain begins with good intentions. It wants to protect you (& your body). Pain can encourage us to come up with strategies to perform better, live healthier, avoid further injury, and signal the time to rest & recover. Sometimes, though, friends are fickle and play both sides. Pain turns into an annoying trickster when it becomes chronic and/or we follow it into a trap.
Sometimes, however, pain is more than just a constant companion we hang out with. Pain can also be like a very determined lover. In this guise, pain becomes a love story that writes itself into the very fabric of our lives. As with other romantic relationships, we often remember our first meeting, how our relationship developed, and when it ended. We remember when it returned, what behaviors we used to work through the tough times, how we’ve tried to separate ourselves from it, and how we failed. Because of pain’s reliability and perverse loyalty, you can always pick up right where you left off. Pain becomes a familiar protector that works to keep you safe, to warn you of dangers, to remind you of your limitations, all for your own benefit. It has good intentions. Just like the road to hell.
Sometimes, it’s complicated. This back and forth with pain. Can you think back to the first time you met? What happened? When you first met, did you simply ignore pain thinking it would just go away? Or did you give it your full attention, nurture it? Did it hang around, looking for more nurturing? Through this relationship, were there times you spent thinking something’s gotta give? What was the thing you felt you needed to do to put this relationship on ice? What was the last thing you said to your pain? Who was the last person you introduced to your pain? And then of course, there are those moments thinking: how did we get to this place? How can I find relief? Is this as good as it gets?
Pain can be a comfort, a crutch, a steady companion. It can also be a nuisance, an albatross that won’t go away. Pain can be a barrier, a blockade, an obstacle that seems unmovable. However pain presents itself in your life, it brings with it many emotions and feelings. It is a relationship; it can be a complicated love story. Every relationship goes through stages. Every relationship has a cycle.
The Pain Cycle
There is, in fact, a pain cycle. When you experience pain and chronic pain, you travel through a cycle that includes physical,
emotional, and mental phases. Beginning with the actual pain (whatever the cause), your body tenses to protect and guard the afflicted area. This protective response can cause stress – maybe you have limited mobility, decreased activity, troubled sleep patterns, and of course the constant pain. The cycle moves into feelings of fear, anger, and frustration at your body, the reactions to the pain, the things that pain is taking away from your life. And this may lead to depression. Among the many symptoms and effects of depression is fatigue. Fatigue from the fight. Fatigue from trying to work through and around the pain. Fatigue that can be very easy to settle into. To persuade you to give up. And then we are back to that pain, because breathing life into these emotions will fuel the pain. And so the cycle begins again. And again. And again. Until you break it.
The pain cycle would suggest that pain is not just a physical experience. It is actually so much more and can be tackled from many different angles. Welcome to The Pain Playbook, my friends. Together we are going to take a look at these different angles.
🗣️ Would love to hear from you!
